Too funny

I spent the first year of my college life as a Home Economics major and endured all the teasing therein. So when I found this post I had to really control myself to keep from laughing out loud during nap time!

Enjoy!

Tiffany

Comforting Cards

I have been dealing with a cold for the past couple of days. The headmaster did warn me when I took a job teaching K4 that I would be sick most of the year. :-/ But when I saw these cards that Shannon made, I felt very comforted! At least it does not appear that I shall "give up the ghost" any time soon. :-)

Thank you, Shannon!

Tiffany

Too funny

As you may or may not know, I lived in England for 3 1/2 years and fell in love with the country. So when I found this announcement, I became rather excited!

Tiffany

Sorry for the faulty link. It should be fixed now.

Benisms

When I taught 3rd grade, I had a little boy in my class named Ben. Ben had the funniest sayings. They were just classic student quotes. I began calling them Benisms because, while the others in the class would say some funny things, Ben was always saying funny things.

One of my favorites is: We were talking about Solomon and his wives. I was telling them that it was wrong to have more than one wife. Ben said, "It is really wrong to have a lot of wives, because you can't be a good steward of your money if you have to feed so many wives!" The family had been talking about being good stewards at home.

I have now discovered that "Benisms" aren't confined to Ben's class. They show up in K4 as well.

The other day I had given my four years olds a game for math. They had little cards that they were putting in numerical order. As I was working with one group, I heard a little voice say "Don't snatch, Paul. It's not Christian!" They had been talking about what a Christian looks like.

They are learning to connect what they're parents are saying at home to every day happenings. But their interpretations are so simple. If only we could be that simple. If we could just see something and know that it's wrong because "it's not Christian." It is true; "Out of the mouths of babes.

Tiffany

Things I'm Never Guilty Of :-)

I'm writing a script and treatment for a festival and was browsing a forum and found some very good rules to follow. I thought I would post them here for everyone.

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalise.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
19. The passive voice is to be ignored.
20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
23. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
24. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
25. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
26. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
27. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
28. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
29. Who needs rhetorical questions?
30. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
31. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Now that you have all these rules, you can write perfectly!

Tiffany